You're too far baby. I can't smell nor taste you.

He’s so far away. I don’t know when I’ll see him. What I do know is that I can’t wait until I do. He stays on my mind and it’s not enough for me to think I stay on his. I can’t reach over and playfully grab his fingers; I can’t touch his skin nor can I smell his manliness. I can’t enjoy his arms around me, nor his lips caressing mine.

I can only hear his voice; I can see his face. I can see his smile; I can watch his lips move as he says those words I want to hear. But, I can’t smell his breath; I can’t lay beside him. I can’t whisper into his ear so he can feel my breath. I can’t…..I can’t….I can’t….and it drives me insane.

Why do people bother with long distance relationships? Seriously! They’re about enough to drive you insane. But, there’s something about them that appeal to some. I’m just not sure I fall into that category. I’m too greedy. I like having the physical. I like the intimacy, the closeness. I’m a true romantic and I love the feel of skin to skin, breath on skin, warmth against skin. I love skin and the only way for me to have skin is to have the owner of said skin right here beside me.

But, there are times that the ones we crave aren’t close to us, damn, maybe not even in the same country and I’ll tell you what…..that sucks! That sucks big ones. It’s like God is playing a sick joke when he puts someone you mesh with so well, someone who compliments your emotions so well...he puts them so far away that all you can do is imagine, imagine what could be because in your heart of hearts, you know that it just can’t work. Or can it?

I’ve heard beautiful stories of long distance relationships. Yup, some of those do exist but it takes a different type of couple to pull it off. They both have to be in that place in life where they want a committed relationship. They both have to respect each other’s feelings. They both have to respect each other. They both have to understand the difficulties that come with such a sacrifice. They both have to care genuinely about each other. They both have to see the benefits that will shine through in the long run. They both have to want it and want it bad. They both have to appreciate each other and know what they have in the other person. They both have to make sacrifices, be patient and have other things to occupy their time, without pushing them to someone else more tangible. They both have to be positive thinkers and they both have to ultimately see the light at the end of this long distance tunnel. So, it’s possible but it’s a lot of work.

Here’s what happens. It starts off hot and heavy. You’re skyping, having skype-sex, calling, having phone-sex, emailing, having email-sex, all the time and it’s all cute, until one person stops calling, emailing, skyping as much. That other person who was gung ho before sees this as either an excuse to get out or they assume the other person has lost interest and they, in turn, pull back-sometimes so far back that it’s unfixable. Both people need to come to a clear understanding of each other’s schedules and time. They must both understand the things that could cut into their time, the things that could arise and pull them a little bit further apart. What a challenge! Sheesh! How do people do it!?

I know you’re wondering why I didn’t mention the most important element of a long distance relationship-TRUST! Well, I was going to, if you would have only been patient. Geez! Trust-yep, self explanatory, right? No. This topic warrants a step back and some serious thought. Trust is important in any relationship but more so in a long distance relationship. Not only do you have to trust that the person isn’t betraying you but you have to trust that they have the same intentions you do. You have to trust that they want what you want. You have to trust that they mean what they say, that when they say they won’t do anything to hurt you that they mean it. You have to trust in your trust too.

Here’s the thing. We’re human. We have yearning, craving, wants and desires. Let’s be realistic. Your man/woman is miles away, so far away that you have to fly to see them. To think they won’t stray or at least have something tangible that they can crawl into bed with every now and then, is ridiculous. Okay, so you can abstain. That’s you. You’re not then. That’s where the trust comes in. If you two want to fool each other and yourself into thinking you can be faithful, go for it, but in the long run, it’s all going to fall apart. How about you both come to an agreement. You want each other. You’re making plans to be together in the long run. You’ll stay in touch on a regular basis but for now, it’s okay to get your silverware polished when it get a little rusty. Be honest and stop jerking each other around.  Say it and say it clearly. And, the most important part, you have to mean it. You have to mean it when you say, ‘Okay babe, I understand. I won’t get crazy with jealousy. I won’t cut you off. I won’t end our relationship because you’ve got a piece on the side’. Because, if you two really are what you say you are, you’ll know where you stand. You’ll know that you are on the front burner; he/she is just cooking up a little snack on the back burners right now.

It’s a tough pill to swallow. Damn thing might gag you but you must know what you want and if it’s worth it. Oh boy! As if it isn’t hard enough already to find a partner. My advice to you. I have no advice. To each his own. You know how much you heart can stand. You know how deep your feelings go. You know you and don’t ever get to thinking that you know her/him. You don’t. You don’t know what people are capable of when put in certain situations. You don’t know what a serious yen or jones can make a person so. With long distance relationships, you’re going in blind and feeling your way around. Good luck! Dare i?