Monday, September 26, 2011

I'm Irreplaceable; you're not!

 What? You deleted me? Damn, you beat me to it!!!

 I've realized that with time, people will mess up. Yes, me too. We're human but in being human, we must confess that when we lose some things/people, it's for the best. You may not realize it at the time but in the long run, it all makes itself clear. And you know what, here's the old cliche`-if it was meant to be......blah, blah, blah.

I see a pattern here. As of late, as in the last month and a half, I've been removed from three people's FB 'friend' list and you know what, I haven't felt better. With one person, I didn't even realize that I was gone-because I didn't really talk to her in the first place-never went on her page. I had to be alerted by someone else and guess what? Uhm, who cares? So, I guess if it was just one person, I could say it was them, but three is rather indicative of a pattern, where the underlying culprit is ME. And I'm okay with that, because honestly, with all three, I was in the right-and I'm not just saying that.

And what grown person deletes someone from a social network site anyway? I mean, come on. And what type of mature person gives a hoot if they do? In all actuality, it just says a lot about your 'relationship'. It wasn't all it was cracked up to be if that's the lack of respect you were shown in its demise.

In my own, sadistic way, I pushed all three there because I didn't want to be hurtful. I have been known to be abrasive and a wee bit too straight forward, uncensored and it has been said that I have no filter. Guilty as charged-I am just those things.

It seems FB has become the end all, be all for communication and so if you remove or are removed, that ends and seals the end of that relationship. Thank God for those young bucks who came up with it. Sad but true, Facebook has allowed us not to have to make that awkward phonecall nor do we have to explain anything either because more than likely, prior to the deletion, there were posts targeting the 'deletee', sending clear messages that it was coming. It might have been no responses like there used to be or posts that sound like they were typed just for you. More than likely, they were.

But, here's my thing. Don't delete me and then try to come back. You were weak when you did it, huh? Probably mad too. Too bad. No takebacks :-) Man up and do it the right way. Don't go through FB-Holla at me!!!

And all that is a precursor to my rant on Fall cleaning. Why is it so damn hard for us to let go? I mean, really? Life is too short to hold on to people who for lack of a better term, do not enhance your life. If your thoughts of them bring frown lines to your face and an elevated BP, then, thank your high heavens you are no longer a part of their life

Fall is the season of rebirth. I love Fall. The colors change, the air is fresher-the colors bright. It's prime time for new beginnings. You don't have to wait for the new year to make those resolutions.  It's the end of the fun Summer and just before the dormant Winter. The perfect time to reevaluate and prepare for the New Year. Take the Fall as a chance to practice, to try things anew, to get it going. To let go and let God take over the reigns. Okay, so it didn't work out. That's fine. They are no longer in your life. That's okay too. We've all heard it. Nothing lasts forever....and ain't that the truth? So, take each day as it comes and make it just that...today....and live for it. Live for today. Let go of those who don't mean you well, who snicker behind your back, who only use and abuse, who mistreat and retreat, who block and mock, who retreat instead of complete you, who hate, instead of appreciate. I'm no fisherwoman but I know that there are more fish in the sea and as such, I'll keep on throwing my rod out and waiting to see what bites.

I'm thirty-plus and independent, stubborn as hell and one proud woman. I've done things I'm not proud of but without hesitation, I can say that  I've been true to me and to those I love and have loved. And when that chapter ends, I can close that book, put it away and open another. I don't know about you but I usually don't read the same book twice...unless of course it's one that left such and impressionable mark that it has etched its memory on my brain (The Art of Racing in the Rain-Garth Stein-just saying-check it out. You won't regret it). Only then will I say it's worth another chance, only then will I surrender to the memory of the unforgettable. Only then will I try again. Only then will I risk a potential friendship/love/relationship/partner.  Other than that, it's time to keep it moving, even run sometimes-because the devil trains with Usain Bolt :-)

And it's not only females. I've found that guys I meet these days have so much baggage-they're holding on to.  That one they let go-that one who they've been with for so long but didn't appreciate them when they had them-that one who, to be honest wasn't for them anyway and who they wish would give them a chance-only to mess it up again anyway. It wasn't meant to be. Let it go. Stop allowing possible to pass you by for comfortable. Stop becoming a memory for new loves-new hearts, because you're too weak to walk away from what you allowed to stray in the first place. What becomes of that? Well, you lose out on something potentially wonderful, potentially beautiful, endearing, long lasting-because you stupidly couldn't let go. It's okay to love and lose in love. Just know how to love and when loving, love with your whole heart so that when/if it doesn't make it to fruition, you can let go with a clear conscience and heart. That's how the cookie crumbles, my friend!

Friendships end when they weren't built on a strong, honest foundation. Love ends when trust and respect are only a thought that has no longevity. It's hard these days to have lasting relationships-so when you find them, hold on tight and when they're beginning to drain the life out of you, let them go....let them go...let them go....
It's okay to let goLife is too damn short!

3 comments:

sardonicswag said...

Wow... Long one and soo much to take in..
I do have to come right out and say I do disagree with you on one thing Ms. Warrior.. I think the whole thing where FB allows us to avoid the awkward conversation has not been good. It teaches people that hitting the delete button can solve some "issues" and that you don't have to confront things head on.. In life this does not serve anyone well. I mean really, what grown adult does this?!? And one more reason why the younger generation is screwed. In life you have to take problems and tackle them head on. You don't just hit the delete button, especially when it comes to friendship. Yes, we can piss each other off, but true friends will talk(or yell) it out. Hitting the delete button just says I didn't mean enough to you to fight for. If that's the case, it was probably time to part ways anyway. When its someone you really don't know, who the hell cares, but its the people you considered close, then it may sting a bit, but like you said: life is too short to hold onto people who do not enhance your life. If you are having a pissed off life PMS moment of weakness, walk away from the computer, cause now you have just made our personal issue public... That is what a phone is for.

Test said...

Sardonic, Sardonic: I'm with you. This post was a far cry from what I'm used to pulling out my booty but I wanted to address the fact that we so depend on technology to lead us...to the point of making FB the deciding factor in our daily lives. We're in a good mood, we say we are. We're in a mad mood, that too is reflected on our Wall.

Now, the whole thing about 'friends' deleting each other only proves what you agree with me on. Weak and insecure ppl do that. It's safe to say that ppl are intimidated by strength-and when it seems that they no longer measure up to quality, they panic and they hit that delete button, thinking it will not only remove the person from their lives but also, delete their insecurities and short comings. Uhm, sorry...doesn't work that way.

And when you hit that delete button, you are telling the deletee that they weren't as important as they may have thought they were. And, in that case, good riddance, huh? So, it all works out.

Sardonic, I got you on the next blog-pinky swear. Gonna juice it up a notch ;-)

sardonicswag said...

Well Ms Warrior, technology is not all bad. It allows me to keep in touch with and see people I would otherwise have to find the time to call. And lets face it, with my hours, I would rarely talk to anyone. It is not technology in and of itself to blame. It is the lackadaisicalness that comes with it. We could have been better with it, but unfortunately people have used it as an excuse to be more and more lazy... no bueno. It is creating weak minds, and in turn, weak hearts. The fact that more people vote for American Idol that the Presidency of our once great country says it all. And I say that with a very heavy heart. Kids these days cannot even write a simple paper because they are more familiar with texting abbreviations than the rules of their own language(why we love to call each other out on misspelled words)..
Ok enough with the lecture to the younger generation.. But if one of said people does happen to read this... PUT DOWN YOUR DAMN PHONE, PICK UP A DAMN BOOK AND KNOW YOUR DAMN ROLE!!!!(thank you the "Rock")...
And its ok to take it down to a serious notch from time to time.. After all, we cannot be funny everyday ;).. So whatever your bootyliciousness puts out next, you know I will be here to support you!